Calling All Prayer Warriors!

When Stephen was diagnosed with cancer, I fell apart. I went to see a counselor over some depression and sleeping issues.  The counselor told me to write down my thoughts as a release to calm my mind.  I have continued this practice over the past 7 years. The letters are for no one but it is a way sometimes I feel I can talk to God and after they are finished I delete them.  Today my heart is heavy and my mind is racing, hence the midweek blog and a letter I am not deleting.

This morning Chris and I went to see the perinatologist for our first meeting.  He is a very nice guy and we felt comfortable with him.  However the visit had some unsettling news.   All of our babies still have strong heartbeats and most are growing appropriately. However the baby they labeled C which could have been D in previous ultrasounds is not growing well.  Baby C is running 2 - 3 weeks smaller than the other three.  There is significant cause for concern.  The doctor told us it is now a waiting game.  This is where our prayer warriors are being called into the game.  We need baby C to grow and  catch up the the rest of the pack. We are ultimately praying for God's will to be done in this situation and trying not to be anxious.  That is proving difficult to say the least.  As I am writing, I am crying knowing God will provide.  It may not be the outcome I want, but he always has a plan and a purpose. 

I was driving home and was listening to the Message on Sirius (Chris says it makes me a nicer person,) when I heard several songs that reminded me of how great of a God we serve.  One was the song  The Hurt & the Healer by MercyMe. These are the lyrics that struck me today:

It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I've fallen into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide 

Sorry this blog was heavy, but I want to be honest about our journey and our struggles. On  a positive note today was the first day Chris got to see all 4 babies and hear their heartbeats.  He did a touchdown maneuver each time he heard one.  Then Baby B (Mercy Danger) waved (okay really it was spontaneous arm movement) but Chris was super excited.  I will close this blog today with a scripture that has comforted me throughout this pregnancy.

 

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My fleash and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my potion forever."

Thank you for your faithfulness in praying!  

Love, 

Erin